Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Guest Blogger and a touch of melancholy

So Sandy has been trying to get me to poste a blog and even though I've said several times that I would, I just seem to have always found some excuse or another to put off doing it.  So today, I decided to change that.

This Christmas has been a season of reflection.  Like so many others there have been thoughts of presents and get togethers plus curbing my road rage as I seem to get ticked while dealing with the poor driving habits of others.  Truth be told I seem to struggle shortly before and after Christmas.  A lot of that has to do with the fact that I've lost a few very close family members around and shortly after the holidays.  In January it will be five years since my stepfather Junior passed away.  In January of 1987 I lost my grandmother (my mom's mother).  It's hard to think about the holidays without them, particularly Junior.  I feel like there is so much that was left unsaid and undone and celebrating Christmas with him was always special and something I looked forward to. And at Christmas time, being as I am a parapro, I end up with two weeks to dwell on these types of things.  Not the most healthy thing to do but it seems like I do it anyway.  So while there is much joy at Christmas there is always that undertone of melancholy that seems to creep in and take away a little bit of the happiness.

 But somethng interesting happened this year.  It was like all the commercial things of Christmas just slipped away, lost not in memories of what I don't have, but in creating new ones with the family and friends I do have.  It was simple things like eating tacos with Paul, Steven, and Lydia Roach. Seeing the joy on my daughter's face and watching her fascination with the Christmas festivities. Being snowed in on Christmas and loving it.  Waking up to breakfast with my inlaws and thinking how cool it was to be there in those moments and sharing laughs over games of Catch Phrase.

I imagine that there will still be moments that make me pause and remember less pleasant times.  That's just the realities of life.  But that doesn't mean I have to be stuck in those unpleasant times/memories, hung up in an endless loop of sorrow. There is so much more out there.  So many blessings I have.  Family ties that are stronger than any unpleasantness that comes my way.  Few, but great friends. And a wife that loves me not based on what I get right or how much money I make (or don't. I did mention I'm a parapro, right?) or any other superficial characteristic that defines so many people or relationships.  She loves me for me, the real me that probably only a handful of people know or ever will know. 

And for all of those things I am grateful and am excited about the prospects of the coming year.

Christmas 2010

So I have to start by praising God for one of the best Christmases EVER!!! Christmas 2010 started with a week full of spending time with old friends. Of which I was reminded that old friends are some of the best friends. We then kicked off family Christmas festivities by going to my dad's house for Christmas Eve day. I cherish my time with my dad. We don't see each other much but when we're together, it's special.....really special. He blessed us (my sister, stepbrother, and I) with a solid silver coin made in 1928 that had been passed down to him from his great grandfather. The simplest gift ever but the sentimental value in it was beyond explanation.

My sister Patrice, my dad and I

Us with my grandmother. Doesn't she look great to be 77?

Christmas festivity #2 was at our house with Jason's dad's side of the family. Always lots of laughs with them. They are hilarious and I enjoy spending time with them. Destiny was wired (as you can see in the pics) about Christmas and Santa coming all together.

After we went to bed on Christmas Eve, Santa made a visit to our house with lots of gifts for a pretty cool little girl. Destiny left him a cookies, milk, and a pretty cool letter with inventive spelling. I LOVE this stage in her life. She has quite the personality and we are so blessed to have her.

Christmas morning brought a very excited little girl around 7:30 AM, which is way too early for me but seeing the excitement in Destiny's eyes made it all worth it. Our Christmas tradition is to call my mom and dad when Des wakes up and we wait for them to get here to see what Santa brought. Destiny was very excited. We all got great gifts, some of my favorites were the snowman dish towels and tall coffee mug (yes, I know....I'm getting old) from Jason and Des and of course my new Glee volume 4 CD....AMAZING music!!!

After opening gifts at home, we loaded up and went to my mom's house to celebrate Christmas with my two sisters, BIL, and future BIL, niece, nephew, mom and dad. We all opened gifts together and then enjoyed a wonderful lunch. After all the struggles this year, Christmas seemed to be a little more special this year. We all knew and recognized how blessed we were to have mama with us even in the middle of the fight against that nasty thing called cancer. And I think God blessed us a little extra with the first white Christmas in a REALLY long time. That snow caused us to have to postpone our tradition of Christmas night with Jason's mom because she wasn't able to get here from Blairsville because of the snow. But it also brought something really cool.... a whole family sleepover (minus Brooke and Levi). We all stayed up late laughing and talking and just enjoying each other's company. I woke up on Sunday morning to the smell of my mama's homemade biscuits. I don't think there is any better smell than that.  : )     We then spent the rest of the day lounging and laughing and then we played in the snow and finished the afternoon off with a couple rounds of "catch phrase" which is ALWAYS dangerous with my family. We came home around 5 or so and unpacked and put away all the gifts. I finished the day with a huge smile on my face and in my heart. Thank you Lord for your many blessings, especially for a sweet mama like mine.

As I look back over our Christmas festivities, I can only think of one word to describe it.......BLESSED. I am SOOOOOO grateful for God's blessings over my life and for my family. The coolest thing is that we still have one more Christmas get together with Jason's mom's family. So we get to extend this Christmas holiday. I have alot of thoughts brewing in my head about 2010 so watch for another blog coming later. But for now, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Deciding on Christmas Cards

What is better than Christmas trees, lights, and the mantle all decorated with stockings? For me, it's the collections of Christmas cards that we get from friends and family every year. It is so cool to see how friends from the past (who I don't get to see very often) have changed and watch their precious children grow through pictures.

So we too always get our family pictures made around Christmas so that we can send the infamous Picture Christmas Cards too. I am SOOOO excited about this years pictures because my friend Grace did an EXCELLENT job with our pictures. And I have to brag and say that I think my daughter is one of the most adorable little things on the planet. And no, I'm not biased. LOL!  And then today, my friend Jill shared on her blog about the really cool Christmas cards offered from Shutterfly. I am going to have a REALLY hard time making a decision this year though. These are all excellent, but here are a few of my favorites.

And the coolest part? Shutterfly is offering up to 50 free Christmas cards for anyone that posts this info on their blog. SOOOO cool. They also have several other items available. Some of which may end up being Christmas gifts like Christmas cardsphoto mugs (great for grandparents), and possibly my favorite the photo calendars. I may have to buy one of those for myself.  ; )  Can't wait to share our updated family pics, including the puppy, with our friends and family!!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Cancer sucks

Okay so since we found out mama had breast cancer I have had every emotion possible. I had gotten to a place where I was okay. Don't get me wrong, I still had the occasional "fall apart" moments but I was okay. I was dealing with the fact that we were beginning a journey toward health and healing. But then Friday we got the results of the sentinel node biopsy surgery that the doctor did on Wednesday. One of the three lymph nodes he took tested positive for cancer, which means that the cancer has started to spread. I feel like this news has put me back to square one emotionally. I was in a "sad" state on Friday and Saturday, and today, I must admit I'm just pissed. I'm pissed that I had faith that the lymph nodes would be negative. I'm pissed that this has happened to one of the best women on the planet. I'm pissed that there's no cure. You name it, I'm pissed about it. Bad attitude? Hell yes, pardon my french! Is God happy with my attitude? Probably not, but I know that God loves me through all my stages of dealing with this and for that I'm grateful. So I guess this a "vent" of sorts but I had to put it out there. We head to the oncologist again tomorrow to discuss what this means for the treatment plan. I do want to take this opportunity though to say a huge THANK YOU  to all of my family and friends for all of your support and encouragement as we go through this, even when I'm in a pissy mood. : )

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Peace, be still

So these last couple of weeks have been pretty tough. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and this week means doctors appointments to find out the treatment plan. In my mind, I know that God is in control of this whole situation and that this was in HIS plan all along. However, I am not too proud to admit that I am having a hard time accepting that in my heart. As I first started dealing with this, I felt like I was having the same conversation with God that happened in the bible in Mark 9. The father of a demon possessed child comes to Jesus to ask for his son's deliverance. Jesus says to him, "all things are possible to him who believes" to which the father immediately responds with "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief". Last week was a dark place for me spiritually. I couldn't feel the presence of the Lord, I felt alone, and went from being really pissed off to being extremely sad. And then Sunday came. I have to admit that I didn't even want to go to church as I was having one of my "I'm pissed off and I can't do this today" kind of moments. But when I forced myself to go, I knew that the "pissed off" feeling was from Satan. Two of the three songs that were planned for Sunday were the two songs that I had sung over and over all week to help me deal. You can listen to those songs here.


Then we had a guest speaker give the sermon. His sermon was simply titled, "Peace, be still". By this time, I'm crying. Okay Lord I get it, or at least I'm trying to. He said two things during the sermon that have really stuck with me this week and I am clinging to them.

First, he said this. "Peace is not the absence of the storm. It is the presence of the security of God during the storm". I am seeking and searching for that kind of Peace.

Secondly, he said this....
"We have to get from here to there and go through the challenge without the challenge going through us" He said this in reference to the passage in Mark where the storm was raging and Jesus commanded the storm "Peace, be still". Before the storm, Jesus said this to the disciples....

"Let us go over to the other side"

And He didn't say "let me go to the other side" he said "let US go over to the other side" which means He intended (from the beginning) for the disciples to go WITH Him through the storm to get to the other side.

Lord, I don't really know how we're going to get to the other side, but I do know that You are the captain of the ship right now. And God, thank you for giving me the kind of mama who is already saying "I'm gonna be fine". I pray that I can become the "fighter" of a woman that she is. I love you mama!

Monday, August 16, 2010

This weight is too heavy

So I've always been a "fat girl". I know, I know. Alot of you give me that "oh, Sandy you're being ridiculous" sigh at that comment but it's true. I think I reached the coveted size of 7 in clothes when I was in 6th or 7th grade. Even in high school when I was running daily for softball, I was a size 14. So I've tried every "fad" diet out there from Atkins to South Beach to the horrible cabbage diet. I have tried weight watchers at least 3 times as well as taking diet pills prescribed by my doctor. Have I lost weight with those? YES! But then it comes back plus more. All these things have brought me to a life changing decision.

I have come to a place where I can't carry this "weight" any longer, both physically and emotionally. The weight is more than it's ever been and the bottom line is I'm not healthy. I don't have any diagnosed health problems (blood pressure, diabetes, etc) but I know that when I can't walk up a hill or a flight of stairs without feeling winded means that I'm not healthy. And even though I love myself (I really do) the emotional side of the "weight" is sometimes hard to bear. It's embarrasing to get stared at because of your size, to only be able to shop in the plus size section, and to be anxious about sitting in certain seats because of the fear that your butt won't fit. LOL! I also know that I can't be the kind of mommy to my baby girl that I want to be right now. She LOVES riding her bike and I can't even walk up the hill to the top of the driveway without sounding like I need an oxygen tank. When my own mother who is in her mid-50's can keep up with my 6 year old better than I can, there is a problem. I want to be able to run and play with her without my weight keeping me from doing so.

So I said all this to say that I am pursuing weight loss surgery. My hematologist tried to talk me into this after my blood clot issues back in 2007 and my other doctors have also been pushing me to do this. They have advised me to pursue it sooner than later while my insurance will help pay for it. So I have begun the six months of hoop jumping in order for insurance to pay for everything. I am looking at surgery in February 2011. I am excited already and SUPER anxious but I know that it's all in God's time. I have to do this because......this weight is too heavy. I can't do it anymore!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

God's Chisel

WOW.....this spoke right to where I am right now. So I wanted to share it in case someone else is there with me. It is about 9 minutes long but DEFINITELY worth the time. I don't know how many times I have said "God, I have let you down so many times" and I never realized that his response to me is "You were never holding me up". Thank you Lord for your right now word. Check it out!


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Just be still......

Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God"

So I have done alot of introspective reflection this summer and man, did I have some stuff out of whack. I was raised in church and know God has me right in the palm of His hand. That he created me for a purpose. But somehow, I have walked away from my relationship with Him. Blame it on a new job, school, being a wife of a grad student, a mother, or just life in general. But those are all just excuses. Lately, I have felt really convicted of not keeping my priorities in order. So, back to square one I go. I have spent alot of time these past few days before the Lord asking and being grateful that his mercies are new every day, even when I've walked away. And what I have felt God's voice saying as I have sought after Him is just "BE STILL". Do you know how hard that is for me? I am the queen of multi-tasking, just like any other mother I'm sure. My mind is constantly going until I lay my head on the pillow and crash. But He just needs me to stop. STOP and REST in His presence. As I was adding some songs to my ipod tonight I stumbled across a song by Kari Jobe that has to be God's direct voice to me in song. I am including a link to the youtube of the song just in case maybe you need to "BE STILL"


I don't know how or why I walked away from You. I do not deserve Your open arms of mercy and grace but I am so grateful for them. Time and again, You yearn for us. You call us to You for you desire a relationship with us. I don't know that we can ever fathom that kind of love. God I pray that your voice to me will resonate in my life so that I may in turn help others "BE STILL" and know that You are God and that You are here.


Monday, June 28, 2010

This is crazy.....I'm not in middle school anymore!

Just a few pics of things I miss from last summer..............Okay so I'm at a "strange" place right now. Last summer, we (Destiny and I) spent ALOT of time (about 3-4 days a week) doing things with my friends while Jason was taking three summer classes at Piedmont. At the end of the summer, I realized that the amount of time I spent with my friends FAR outweighed the time I spent with Jason. So this summer, with Jason only taking two classes, we vowed to spend more time together. Thus the problem begins.

I am a firm believer that every husband needs their "guy time" and that every wife needs their "girl time" but that those "independent" times needed to be balanced with family life. Last year the "independent" time won out (even though I had Destiny) and this year, I'm afraid I've gone too far in the other direction this summer. I have done things with my friends four times this summer. And it's already half way over. I've dedicated so much time to my family that I've neglected my friendships. I laid in bed last night and cried because I felt like I was neglecting my friendships and was afraid that I was losing some of those friendships because of it. Silly I know. But I guess what I realized, through the voice of reason from my dear husband, is that I have to find that balance.

While I was being the "emotional basketcase" that I was being, I said "I can't believe I'm crying over friendships, I'm not in middle school anymore". But I realized that I still need my friendships. I still need that sense of belonging to a group of people that I can be silly with. And I guess because I've gone so far from that, I have felt kind of lonely in that aspect of my life.

Gosh, I'm rambling. SORRY! If anyone has any advice on how to find and keep the balance between family and friendships, I welcome it!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Is your faith big enough?

So last night, I received one of the most unexpected biggest blessings ever. This week our church has been holding a kids crusade titled "Taking Shape" and they have focused on "taking shape" into the people God has called them to be. My mom has been taking Destiny every night because Jason and I have both been covered up in grad school work. After they got home last night, Destiny told us that she had (in her words) "asked God in her heart and asked Him to forgive her of anything she had ever done wrong". Needless to say, tears were flowing by this point. We stopped what we were doing, turned off the TV, and prayed together as a family.

After Jason went to take Destiny to bed, I sat here and just cried. Do I have faith big enough to lead the life that I need to so that I can be the role model I need to be for her? Do I give the way I should give? Do I trust God with EVERYTHING that I have and everything that is to come? I don't know the answer to that and I'm afraid the answer is no. I have to admit that lately my priorities have not been in order.

This past Sunday, Scott Smith shared one of the best sermons I've heard in awhile called "Practical Atheist". You can check it out via podcast here. http://www.thetorch.net/ Was I convicted by it? YES! Have I been saying I believe in God and not walking in it? YES! Then he shared a video about Zac Smith, a 32 year old husband and father of 3 that was facing stage VI cancer and was not given a very good outlook. You can watch the video he shared of Zac's video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4Qb1qdXn4o

This video and sermon along with Destiny accepting Christ as her Savior last night made me do ALOT of self reflection. What would happen if I was diagnosed with cancer at 32, only a year and a half from now? What if that happened to my husband? I would want my response to be the same as Zac's. "Cancer is the best thing that has ever happened to me". Would I be able to have enough faith to say that no matter what comes my way that all gifts that God gives are "good"?

My prayer is this: "Lord, I praise you for blessing me with a beautiful daughter who has the sweetest spirit. Somehow, please keep me in check and help me to put my priorities in order. I need Your help and Your guidance. I want to be worthy of being a strong spiritual mother for a beautiful child You have blessed me with. I give You all the praise and glory. Amen"

When Jason and I had her, we chose her name, Destiny Lia, for it's spiritual meaning. Destiny of course means "Fate" while Lia means "God's Messenger" so her name means "Fate to be God's Messenger". I just want to give her the foundation she will need to fulfill that purpose.

Sorry if it seems like I'm rambling but I needed to get this out there so I can have some accountability from my peeps out there. Thanks for prayers and in the mean time, ask yourself, is your faith big enough to fulfill your purpose?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

As the world turns......

so do I. This little poem was on the program for Chicopee Woods 5th grade honor day on Friday.

"As the world turns,
so do you.
When you change for the good
you change the world too!"
I had never heard that before so I came home and googled it and found that it was from a book called "Wings of Change". The story is about Anew the caterpillar who is happy the way he is (as a caterpillar) and is afraid of growing up into a butterfly. His good friend the snail tells him the above phrase.
Friday brought the closing of another school year. That ending has brought me into a contemplative state this weekend. This school year was a whirlwind to say the least. I started off the year as an interim 5th grade teacher teaching reading and writing. About three weeks into the school year, I went back to my normal job as EIP teacher teaching math all day. The year was going great. In January, I went for a job interview for a county math position that I did not get. As a result of my interview though, I was offered my dream job as math coach. I started that in mid-January at a different school. So needless to say, three different jobs in one school year while working on my specialist degree makes for a CRAZY year.
What have I learned from the chaos though? I've learned that God's got it. Even in the craziness of the chaos, God is in control. Through a couple different emotional breakdowns this school year, I have to admit that it was one of the best ever. I absolutely love my job. When I went back to Chicopee Woods for Destiny's honors day and the 5th grade honors program, it was kind of like closure to another chapter in my life. Next school year will begin with me as a full time math coach which will hopefully stay the same all year. LOL! It will also means Destiny will be changing school systems to Habersham which makes me a little nervous. But what have I learned this year? The same thing that Anew the caterpillar learned. That.....
"As the world turns,
so do I.
When I change for the good,
I can touch the sky"
As long as I roll with the punches and change for the good, life is good. And I can face any obstacle in my path. For now, I'm going to enjoy the summer spending time with my family and friends and finishing my specialist degree. Then it will be back to school to start another wonderful year in education.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happily Ever After.....

***DISCLAIMER....mushy blog to come***

So today is mine and Jason's 10th wedding anniversary. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. After a beautiful wedding and reception full of our friends and family, we headed to Gatlinburg for a wonderful honeymoon where we rented a cabin called "The Sugar Shack". Yeah, yeah go ahead and laugh. We got to the cabin and had a nice picnic snack that my aunt had packed for us when we left the reception. We enjoyed the rest of our week in Gatlinburg on a wonderful honeymoon where we spent time playing putt putt, going to Dollywood riding roller coasters and had enjoyed every second together.

Fast forward one year and we were graduating from college, remodeling our home, and beginning our lives as "adults". We made it through that first year as adults beautifully and still happier than ever. The next 2 years went by with the routine of working through the week, sleeping in on Saturdays and then we'd spend Saturday afternoon/evening watching movies, eating dinner, shopping, whatever we wanted to do really. Basically being a selfish couple who did what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. Then after almost 3 years of marriage, we were expecting our first child and were excited and scared to death all at the same time.

Fast forward 9 months and we were holding our hearts in our hands when Destiny Lia was born. The next year was one of the hardest we ever faced as a couple. Destiny was a very sick infant who didn't sleep well which kept us all on edge for that whole year. We did it though. Looking back, I know now that we are better for it. We faced challenges that we overcame. Our love and persistence brought us through. The last 5 1/2 years since then have FLOWN by. We are both currently pursuing grad degrees, are working, and being the best parents we can be.

So what have I learned in these 10 years? That there is no other person on the face of the planet that I would rather wake up to everyday. Jason Gene Martin, I love you with every breath in me and I can only pray that I can be half the wife to you that you have been as a husband to me. Thank you for crying with me through the hard times, laughing with me through the good times, screaming with me through the aggravating times, and being silly with me in the wee hours of the morning when sleep was no where in sight. And thank you for being my rock, my lover, my soul mate, my best friend, and my prince charming. You are ALL that I will ever need and I can't wait to spend the next 70+ years of our life together, happily ever after! XOXOXO!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Life or something like it.....

My life has....morphed. Yeah, that's a good term for it. Things have changed for me in my career as well as in my spiritual life, my intellectual life, and any other area of my life that can change.

Jason and I had been leading a youth discipleship small group on Sunday nights since January 2009. We started off very strong with a WONDERFUL group of teenagers. Then we lost three of our students due to graduation and them going off to college. Summer attendance was down a little due to vacations, family stuff, etc. Then we kicked back off in August, again just as strong. Then around November, attendance started to become sporadic. We spent a lot of time in prayer and really felt like that God had called us to lay that down for awhile. So we talked with some friends and kind of started our own small group. We are going through the Seven series from our church setting goals for every area of our lives which is alot harder than I thought it would be.

I am also in the middle of getting my specialist degree which is kicking my tail. I chose this program because it was one of the cheaper programs and because it took the least amount of time. HOWEVER, I did not think about how hard this was going to be. Fall semester wasn't bad at all.....7 hours, 3 classes. Now, this semester is from the very pit of hell. 13 hours.......yep, that's FIVE freakin' classes on top of working full time and being a wife and mother. Thankfully, one of them is finished since we turned in our lit review last weekend but that was only a one hour class. SO, I still have 4 classes left this semester. I have pretty much reached the end of my rope so now I've tied a knot in the end of it and am hanging on for dear life. I have set a goal for myself to have my work for my practicum class done before Spring Break, which is next Friday. Why by next Friday you may ask.

Jason and I are going on our first cruise over Spring Break to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. I can't believe that it has been 10 years. But can I just be mushy for a minute and say that I am blessed beyond measure by the most wonderful man on the face of the earth. He is EVERYTHING I could have ever dreamed of in a husband and a father to our beautiful daughter.

All in all, despite all the changes and all the stress, I am blessed. Blessed far beyond anything I could ever ask for. I gripe and whine with the best of them but with a little bit of introspection, I realize the thousands of blessings that I have EVERY DAY! So on that note I leave you with the simplicity of faith of my precious baby girl. This is her "story" that she wrote at school this week.
"I want to fly to see the God"

She helps me stay focused......on the things that matter!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

What's Yours????

I don't even know where to begin to explain how full my heart is right now. I feel like God has blessed me SOOO much lately.

To begin, my daughter is the best....EVER!!! Last night as I was putting her to bed she volunteered to pray. Here's her prayer:

"Dear God, thank you for my mommy's new job and I pray that daddy gets home safely from class. And I want to take a moment to say thank you for all you've done for us. Sometimes people forget you but we won't. We will always give you praise, no matter what. Amen"

I can't believe that God has entrusted such a sweet spirit to Jason and I. I feel HONORED to be responsible for such a precious little girl. And more importantly, I feel VERY humbled. I only pray that I can have the kind of faith that says "I will praise you no matter what".

I started my new job last Friday and I am ABSOLUTELY loving it. I am still trying to figure out a schedule that works for me and all the teachers but I am so excited about being able to help other people get excited about math. It is a great faculty and staff and they are eager to learn.

I could go on and on about the blessings I have in my life, but for now that's enough. More to come later. But now I leave you with "what's yours"? What are your blessings? I would love to hear and praise God with you for them.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Big Announcement

So I've been sort of secretly sharing my news via this blog and facebook. It is now official. I am the new math coach at Lyman Hall Elementary. Alot of you may be saying..."that's what all the hype was about...really?" But yes, and it's a lot more of a big deal than some of you may realize. In 2006, I decided that for once in my life, I was going to set a goal for myself and actually put steps in place to meet that goal. So I set my goal to be a math coach within the next five years from that point, which was in 2006. With my goal in place, the first step was grad school to get my master's degree. I decided to get my master's in elementary education with a specialization in elementary mathematics. From that point on, I made my goal known to my administration and set my yearly professional goals to improve in different areas of mathematics. Then my administrators had enough faith in me to put me in a somewhat math leadership role by being the math contact person for our school. At the beginning of December, I found out about a title I math position which is a position where the person would be working with faculty from all 10 title I schools in our county. I went for the interview and felt very good about it. It wasn't my ideal job but I really thought it would broaden my resume to eventually lead to my math coach position. Much to my surprise, the principal at Lyman Hall called to tell me they had offered the title I position to someone else but that the interview panel felt like I would be the best choice for another position that had previously been unannounced.....MATH COACH. I obviously accepted the position.

So I said all that to say that God really does know the desires of our heart and HE grants them, even in ways we don't understand or see coming. So Friday is my last day at Chicopee Woods. I'm very sad about leaving because I believe we have the best faculty in the WORLD, but I know God has bigger plans. So if you haven't dreamed a little lately, you should. Then set some goals from your dreams, put action steps in place, and seek HIS face and the dreams you have will be granted.

Friday, January 8, 2010

God really does grant the desires of your heart.....

So I was always raised in church and I have always struggled with having "heart knowledge" of God's word and not just "head knowledge". Heart knowledge being defined as the ability to put the faith and trust in God to match the verses from the bible that we all can quote. Well, I've always been reminded of and heard preached is Psalm 37:4. The NKJV version says it like this:

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I have always heard that and have only seen it come to fruition in my life once. Not that God hasn't been faithful but I've always been bad about focusing myself on any one thing. I would haphazardly say "I want this" or "I want to do that" or "I want to go there" but I've never really set goals and stuck to them. The one time I remember that scripture becoming heart knowledge was the conception and birth of my daughter over 6 years ago. The last six years have had me really contemplating what the desires of my heart even were. I feel like I finally figured it all out about 3 years ago. I set some personal and professional goals for myself. This week has brought about the realization of the Lord giving me the desires of my heart. I can't publish this quite yet, but I have been in a very contemplative mood today. I am still in shock that one of my MAJOR goals has been accomplished. It is just so SURREAL! I can't wait to go into the next phase of my life where I set the next goal or desire of my heart. Because I finally think I've figured out how to make this scripture heart knowledge. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to make it all heart knowledge. All I know is that I'm glad God has patience with me along the way. LOL!

Oh, and I'll be able to share the details of my dream realized on Tuesday so come back and check it out!

Monday, January 4, 2010

I hate Dora

This is an actual quote from Destiny on the way to gymnastics tonight. When I asked her why, she told me, "Dora teaches you stuff you already know". This was after also telling me for like the millionth time that Dora is a baby show.

Just one more example of how she's growing up.

What's to this blog thing?

So in trying to decide on a new years resolution, I decided to start a blog. Kind of like a diary online for everyone to read? Kind of strange, but simultaneously kind of cool. So here I sit on January 4th, 2010 as a 30 year old wife, mother, teacher, daughter, friend, etc. I am very busy but I love every minute of my life. 2010 is going to be an awesome year full of God's blessings, I just feel it. Thank you Lord for being my provision in every way, even when I don't always understand it. Signing off to my first blog of 2010. Many more to come.....I hope! Peace out girl scouts!