Sunday, October 17, 2010

Cancer sucks

Okay so since we found out mama had breast cancer I have had every emotion possible. I had gotten to a place where I was okay. Don't get me wrong, I still had the occasional "fall apart" moments but I was okay. I was dealing with the fact that we were beginning a journey toward health and healing. But then Friday we got the results of the sentinel node biopsy surgery that the doctor did on Wednesday. One of the three lymph nodes he took tested positive for cancer, which means that the cancer has started to spread. I feel like this news has put me back to square one emotionally. I was in a "sad" state on Friday and Saturday, and today, I must admit I'm just pissed. I'm pissed that I had faith that the lymph nodes would be negative. I'm pissed that this has happened to one of the best women on the planet. I'm pissed that there's no cure. You name it, I'm pissed about it. Bad attitude? Hell yes, pardon my french! Is God happy with my attitude? Probably not, but I know that God loves me through all my stages of dealing with this and for that I'm grateful. So I guess this a "vent" of sorts but I had to put it out there. We head to the oncologist again tomorrow to discuss what this means for the treatment plan. I do want to take this opportunity though to say a huge THANK YOU  to all of my family and friends for all of your support and encouragement as we go through this, even when I'm in a pissy mood. : )

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