Saturday, March 24, 2012

1 year surgiversary

WOW! I can't believe it has been a year since I decided to change my life FOREVER. Thinking back to this time last year, I was scared, anxious, nervous, and very depressed. I had beaten myself up over the fact that I had to resort to weight loss surgery because I was too "weak" to lose the weight myself. Looking back, I realize how silly that was. Here I stand, a year later, with a lighter load, both physically and for the most part emotionally.

There are still many days that I forget that I am no longer almost 300 pounds and that I still tell myself that I'm the "fat" girl. I don't think the woman I see in the mirror is the woman that I really am. I still have a very jaded self image. I still see the "rolls" that are now just folds of excess skin and the non-toned body and am still not "happy" with the way I look. BUT, the outward image is not the reason I had this surgery. I had this surgery so that I could live until I'm 80 not 50, so that I could walk wtihout running out of breath, and so that I could feel better in general. So even though my body image is still not healthy, my body is. And that's why I started this journey to begin with.

I now sit, somewhat plateaued, at 197 pounds. I seem to bounce back and forth between there and 201. I was really hoping to be at my 100 pounds lost by this point but it's okay. It's a journey, not a destination. I just have to keep telling myself that. I have gone from a tight 26 pants to a comfortable regular 16, not plus size and am shopping in the regular women's section of the store, not the plus size. I am so excited about this upcoming summer and knowing that I will be in so much better health to enjoy all sorts of family adventures. I leave you with gratitude in my heart for the support and encouragement that I have gotten during the last year. (and a before and after shot)

Before at 285 pounds

After at 197

No comments:

Post a Comment